For one in a position to exercise leadership, relationships among people can be a very interesting dynamic.  Everyone would like to be your personal friend, but from an organizational perspective, that would probably not set the right environment.  Leading a group of volunteers at my church as I do, close relationships work just fine, but for the CEO, Lead Pastor, or a military commander, it might not be the best thing.

For you the “leader” of an organization, you always need to establish a level playing field for those for whom you are responsible.  Having personal friends in the organization might give the appearance of favoritism.  It could make things extremely difficult when it is necessary to exercise discipline, evaluate, or lay people off.  For a military commander, it can unnecessarily complicate situations where you must send people into battle.  But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be respectful and relate to all your people in a cordial way.

You know, “If it wasn’t for people . . . leaders might not need friends,” but leaders deal with people, so they need friends and mentors with whom they can relate.  In the military, commanders relate to other commanders; they have similar interest and face similar problems.  The military is very intentional about having conferences for commanders and senior non-commissioned officers to help build relationships.  In business, leaders relate to others in the business community or with their senior staff.  And even senior leaders can be helped by mentors.  In my life, I remember several mentors very fondly both in the military and outside.  They helped me immensely.

As Executive Director of Officer’s Christian Fellowship I had a very special relationship with one of my assistant editors, Captain, U.S. Navy Retired, Doug McCrimmon. Doug was a special person; he was a Navy test pilot, with multiple cruises in support of the war in Vietnam, and before he retired, he was the Skipper of the aircraft carrier, USS Ranger (CV-61).  If you know anything about the Navy, you’ll know that having command of an aircraft carrier with a crew of 4,000 or more people, is challenging; however, it is the best job in the Navy.  As a fellow pilot with combat experience and having led large organizations we had a lot in common.

As I mentioned, having friends inside the organization can create problems, but there are special circumstances that you the “leader” should look for and cultivate.  That person whom you can trust and know that your conversations will remain confidential.  Doug was that loyal servant with whom it was easy for me to relate. He had nothing to gain personally from our relationship and I didn’t evaluate his work performance.  We kept our time together out of the office; we played racket ball each week followed by lunch.  The value of this relationship was that Doug could provide personal feedback to me concerning strategies I was implementing and how people in the organization felt about changes I had to make.  And since he knew well the challenges of “command,” my relationship with him was one of mutual understanding and appreciation.

Leadership is not “singles tennis,” we all need friends and encouragement.  Today I have a couple of special friends in whom I can confide; one a retired Army Lieutenant General with whom I served, and shipmate in the Coast Guard Auxiliary, and another, a retired Special Forces Soldier and Army aviator.

I don’t know about you, but I have a special friend that I can always count on, THE ONE, Jesus.  Last week we discussed prayer, and that is one way that He relates to me if I just take the time to listen.  The other is through THE BOOK.  Jesus is all over the Bible and that is how I get to know Him better each morning.  He wants to be your friend; ask Him into your life.  There are no conditions other than, “to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead.” (Rm. 10-9) Jesus, that carpenter from Nazareth and Son of God, is whose birth we celebrate in just a few days.  Merry Christmas.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Ranger_(CV-61), http://uss-rangerguy.com/captains_of_ranger.htm